Inquiries -

Beck's work available thru Eden Fine Art, NYC.
Call: (212) 888-0177 for info OR contact Beck directly with questions!

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Entry 93: Mother's Day 2013 or I'm sure mom meant well

So, when I was kid I wanted to be and artist, highly successful and popular.
My mother wanted me to become a teacher. I'm sure mom meant well but there were two problems with that idea -
1. I had no confidence or practical experience and ability to access my own talent was limited.
2. I hate spending lots of time with other people.
Although mom tried to push me into a seemingly secure career, the idea of teaching made me want to throw up. I cannot think of anything worse than being stuck in a room full of people all day. Oh wait, I can think of something worse: being stuck in a room full of people and having the task of trying to tell them how to do something (you don't really know how to do yet) while they're either making excuses about why they can't (or won't) do the assignment or so taken with their own unrealized genius that they can't hear anything you have to say because their too busy telling you what genius' they are.
The only thing that could be worse is being  a student who earnestly wants to learn BUT has ended up with someone who has no confidence, very little experience or knowledge to share and no metal or desire to be talking to you.
I'm sure mom meant well but I am not a teacher and certainly was not at 20, 25, 30 or even 40. Teachers need to be able to command respect, lead with confidence. At 50, I have experience to share (some of it good, a lot of it bad) but I still don't have a component that all teachers need: the ability to walk in a room and take control. In fact, I walk in a room full of people and walk out again as quickly as possible - all those faces....all that scrutiny.....and everything I know flying out of my head as soon as  soon as I'm asked a single question.
What do they say?: those who can't do - teach. Let me add: those who can't teach because they don't posses confidence in a crowd, can't command respect and panic when pressed..... flee.
I think mom wanted a Mr. Holland for a child but she ended up with a Barney Fife minus all the Barney swagger.
I suppose teaching is a lot like being a single parent - it's scary, it's daunting and you never really know what to do till you know what to do and you're always afraid you're going to fail. So, instead of risking my pride and the little confidence I've managed to accumulate over the last few years and pouring it all on a classroom of students, I take the few things I've figured out, mix in the experiences I've had as a working artist and make my little Youtube videos.
Not quite the grand career mom had in mind but I like it.... a little of what mom wanted but in a way I can handle:

P.S. In the end, I still can't command a room but I have a little more confidence and a handful of experience to share. Still working on the popular part .


  1. Just happened upon your work on the web, on Pinterest. Love your work, love your humour and 'say it like you see it' attitude and have viewed a couple of clips on You Tube. I subscribed so I would be able to find my way back again. But dammit you went and reciprocated . . . does that mean I need to make some kind of contribution? More pressure!!! Just kidding.

  2. Dear Late Start Tammy - thank you so much for the feedback...I still can't believe anyone is:
    #1 interested at all in my posts and videos
    #2 gets the humor....but people do!

    No pressure to reciprocate but, be warned, I will be stalking you now.


  3. Hi Beck,
    I am on the wrong post... I watched your video on the time you spend marketing yourself. Well, it has been a couple of days, and I can not find my way back to it. I just want to thank you for sharing what you have learned, and some of your struggles as well. I subscribed to your YOuTube channel... Oh my... Lots to see there!
    Wish you well!

  4. Hi Sheila! I'm in the middle of some projects but I'll try to find what you were looking for.I have so many videos about promotion but here's a link to one:
    Here's a 2nd:
    And a 3rd:

    Hope that helps some!

  5. Okay - maybe not. On Youtube try videos: #9, #10, #14 and #46. And, I think the Youtube channel is easy to Google - Beck Lane.