In math 1 + 1 always equals 2. But in Beck math the same numbers equation can yield a number of results....which is what happened this morning (see blog Entry 80). I added up my Youtube views and my blog views an came up with 10,000 total views - I was a little off....about 900 off. Don't ask me how it happened but well, let's face it, that's why I don't have a job where numbers are overwhelming vital to things going well. My miscalculation means we'll have to do the Giamatti happy dance another day.
Till we actually reach 10,000,
I think I'm gonna practice adding.....what a maroon.
but that many views means the world to me especially considering my Youtube channel and blog were started under 5 months ago. Thanks for all the help, likes, shares and interest. And thanks especially to the 1,250 people who have joined my different online outlets.
What's my secret?
Sheer determination born out of overwhelming fear
(......mixed with no small amount of desperation).
If you're a little intimidated and wondering how to get yourself (or even why to get yourself) started online, here's two videos that cover my why's and hows. If you've got any suggestions please feel free to comment or message me. I'm always open to new ideas.
Dude, really - if I can do it you can three...
Studio 120 - #14: DIY promotion, determination and stats
Studio 120 - #46: If I can do promotion, you can three
- PLEASEFEEL FREE -
to copy, share, post, repost, and comment on the work and blog entries.
AND
don't forget to add your artist or creative site(s) to the comment section of the blog!
Although I do live in my own little universe (....okay, my head), I have been working on the social end of social media the last month or so. I've put a stop to promoting my work in an aggressively obnoxious, overt fashion and have been spending my time chatting with other people and fellow artists. I been/ we've been linking, interlink, friending, subscribing, posting and sharing with other artists on different media sites which has resulted in a major influx of traffic and people joining all of MY social sites in return. The flourishing results have been amazing and not what I expected-
Last count I had somewhere around 1,250 ppl following my adventures and babbling chats and tantrums thru Facebook, Youtube, the blog, Twitter, Tumrblr, Pinterest, Google + etc. Between Youtube and the blog I have almost 9,000 views as well as a number of new friends. That's pretty F-ing incredible. Can't tell you how much better this is than sitting in my space, all alone staring at the wall.....
Thank you to everyone who's written, emailed, commented and shared. I am deeply flattered by your level of interest in my work. Thank you.
Bugsy says "thank you" too 'cause "when dah momma happy, everybody happy-er"
That said a friend sent me a link to another blog that posted a Studio 120 video! From: "Thoughts of creativity: Home is where the paint is"
So, a few weeks ago I was hot on the idea of becoming a female, bad boy for my 50th birthday.
Haven't bagged the idea yet but I can't quite commit myself to transition from a sad, frustrated, Charlie Brown type to being a young, chain smoking, haughtily pampered, soldatde l'ennui. (To see the complete "I'm gonna be a bad boy from now on" meltdown go to: http://becklaneartist2013.blogspot.com/2013/04/entry-77-im-coming-out_10.html)
But, despite all my big birthday plans, I'm less this:
and more this:
In totally Giamatti mode - flat broke, a bit war torn, totally exhausted, sodden with frustrated and ready for action....the classic definition of an artist.
So, here we are, it's spring and I'm trying to put all the crap from 2012 (and early 2013) behind me and start somewhat fresh....or as fresh as I can under the circumstances. I'm starting all over again, again - in a new studio space, with a studio mate (something new for me), a few new plans but the same me. Not any younger or smarter or less gullible or bad boy, just older and less timid.
Was just going thru some videos on my Youtube channel and posting on Pinterest when I came across this vid from a couple months ago. It's kind of long (and a little angry) but I think it's got a good, strong message that all artists need to hear. It's a very balls to the wall,
'you are way more valuable than some people want you to believe' talk.
...and then I layout a painting and chat
...and then I chat some more about understanding your value, knowing your worth and not allowing people to diminish you and your work.
Try not to bludgeon people afterwards.
Enjoy!
To see more videos (most not quite so long) visit -
A (cost of making art) Cost: Supplies pictured plus more supplies and more materials plus travel plus rent plus investments in education² times experience² PLUS B (your value as an artist) Value: ability and understanding of what you do plus vision and goals plus respect for your work x hard knocks= C A + B = C (value of work)
* Add 25% increase on Cevery time someone tries to devalue you.
My posts for the last month have been pretty dour - to say I've been chagrined is like saying the Titanic developed a pinhole size scratch. But something has popped up that's starting to lift my spirits - a few weeks ago I was approached about an opportunity that could be a real game changer for me and I'm really excited. It involves a portrait I did a couple months ago of a female artist, a filmmaker and a world wide exhibit event that happened last spring. I don't want to jinx the opportunity by giving away too much but I'm like a 5 year old and can barely contain myself when something good pops up....but, again, I don't want to jinx it....but then I'm totally giddy with relief that one of my paintings is/maybe is/certainly is/will be going to be seen by a very, very, VERY large number of people around the world....and it tickles me to no end that when it was up for sale, a couple months ago, the people who had the option to buy it didn't.
Like most of my work, the painting itself is posted in several sites on the web. It always garners a lot of attention and even has it's own "fans". BUT it was passed over. And, just like every time a painting I'm proud of is passed over, I was insulted. It's fresh, it's strong, it was made using my own techniques, it's not a derivative....so what's the problem? Is it because it's too fresh, too strong, not a copy of someone else's ideas and techniques? Makes no sense. BUT NOW I'm so friggin' glad it was passed over I could pee myself.
Can you say: "well now, THAT was a short sighted mistake....wasn't it"?
I wasn't going to post a single word about this deal till things were firmed up but I just found an article by the Wall Street Journal that touches on a subject that has effected my life, my work, my ability to reach the level of success I'm working for and my ability to find proper support for my goals: sexism in the art world - I.E. - work by women being perceived as being less than valuable as work done by men.
Sexism seems like a concept that we, as a big, grown up culture, should have grown out of already but we haven't. And honestly, I've known it - I've tried to ignore it but it's always there. In fact, until last spring, I really didn't advertise my face, my age or my sex bc I knew, without question, that the reality of me effected people's interest in my work. As long as viewers didn't/don't know my particulars they have/had a tendency to look at my paintings and assume I'm: under 30, a young man, and a shade of brown - all factors that sometimes appear to make my work more desirable. It's the same work just done by ME and not some 20 year old, non Caucasian, ingenue. But somehow when my fat, old, white lady face is associated with the work it's suddenly determined to be lesser than.
Having to combat sexism is an age old problem for women and it's sooooo tired. I am exhausted from watching men with 1/2 the vision, 1/2 the drive, and 1/2 the talent flourish while I still have to work ten times as hard for less than 1/2 the pay. Can someone explain to me why having been born with a vagina effects my value as an artist and a person? I very sincerely do not understand how or why. We have been gaining ground, and it's significantly better than it was when I was growing up in the 70s but really..... that bizarre attitude that we should somehow be happy with the whatever level of recognition (or disregard) might be tossed our way is STILL discrimination. As a country we at least pretend to have zero tolerance for racism but sexism is still somehow okay. In all honesty, dude, that's really f#@ked up.
Article on sexism in the artworld from the Wall Street Journal 04/18/13 (...no, not April 1813):
After a record Morisot sale in London, art collectors are scrambling to identify undervalued female artists; the $1 million club
Excerpt from article:
"A woman's signature in the bottom corner of a painting has long spelled a bargain—men in the same artistic school or period can fetch more than 10 times the price of a woman's best sale. While an age-old debate rages over whether talent, sexism or lack of promotion has held many women out of the art world's boys club, everyone agrees that prices for female artists have always lagged behind those of their male counterparts"
"Every spring is the only spring - a perpetual astonishment." - Ellis Peters
"Life sucks and then you die" - the 80's.
In the middle of a horrific week, in which I not only turned 50 but 2 young men deposited destruction and dragged fear thru several cities, I made a video - a video about two things:
1. An art based online fundraiser I'm participating in for survivors of the Boston Marathon explosions
2. Surviving violence (or the threat of violence) myself.
This is kind of a slow boiling, annual, panic filled reaction to my birthday and the trauma my friends in the Boston/Dartmouth/ New Bedford areas sustained this week have hit a nerve that's possibly too personal to mention, but I have to - I feel like I'm coming out of my skin with anxiety, frustration and fear.
Every spring, starting around March 1st, I go into a spiral - it traditionally lasts about 45 days and ends a few days after April 15th - the big birthday day. My annual spiral into hell started in Germany on my 7th birthday. My mother father, sister and I celebrated the day in the German country side with my brother and then we went back to my brother's apartment to have dinner with his family. The adults all drank beer with dinner and things went from tense to angry and violently very quickly. The entire day went south and continued going south, every year, during March and April, for the rest of my childhood. Only we never took another trip around my birthday, we never "celebrated" with other family members again, we "celebrated" at home. Or at least somewhere near home - like our house keeper's home or at the home of a friend of my mother while my dad stayed in the house, drank and fought his own demons
Memories of the annual, 6 week long alcohol and anger fueled events are something I've been trying to combat most of my adult life. However, for the past 8-10 years I've put my nose to the grindstone and made real efforts into clearing the memories away.. Therapy and 12 step meetings have alleviated some of the reverberating issues but this year the annual spiral came on with devastating force. This year seemed to be particularly devastating because I turned 50 and have managed to fall short of meeting goals I've been working for 5 years to achieve. And now I feel even worse knowing that hundreds to thousands of people will go into April 15th feeling as violated as I have for the last 43 years.
Like me, most of the survivors will never be able to fully shake the sadness and fear. It'll pop up, swallow and envelope. No parade, no flag waving, no court room conviction will ever make them feel safe again. How do I know? Experience. I know from experience that they will live and relive the violence and the fear of being preyed upon. It's something you never fully "recover" from. That feeling of being venerable tends to be part of a pattern that can wind thru your life and end up being a theme. My experience(s) have left me with PTSD that flares up at the worst possible moments - SOMETIMES when I'm being yelled at, SOMETIMES when I'm cornered or feeling trapped, always around my birthday and always when someone intentionally makes an effort to hurt me or betray my trust. The depth of my annual implosion depends on how safe and secure I feel and, this year - just like last year, I don't feel safe or secure.
And even though the two young men, who headed the explosions, can't inflict more violence on us, the memories of my experience(s) have bubbled up and left me feeling a little weak. Like almost anyone who's had to endure the fullness of anger, hatred, violence, the threat of violence (or had to endure long term abuse) I know the survivors of the blasts have a life long road ahead. It's something that never goes away.
Because I have an empathetic understanding for the survivors of this week's horrific events I'm participating in an upcoming, art based online fundraiser. The event, organized by painter, tattoo artists, carpenter and runner Josh Robinson, is still be organized (he's gathering artists, artwork and trying to find the best venue to sell the work online) but I wanted to share the idea so people could link to the event's Facebook page and watch as work comes in and the event is constructed. I'm donating at least one fresh painting (maybe more) and some appropriately themed prints. Pictures of the painting(s) and prints and more will be posted here as this thing comes to fruition over the next few weeks. But, in the meantime, -
Thank goodness for this fundraiser - there's little I can do to help relieve the horrors of this week but maybe my donations and Josh's event well help to provide some relief to people who might other wise be left venerable and struggling on their own . I know it's helping me to get out of my head. I look forward to being filled with purpose and drive again.
Studio 120: #52 - Why I am participating in fundraiser for Boston Marathon survivors
