Entry 93: Mother's Day 2013 or I'm sure mom meant well

So, when I was kid I wanted to be and artist, highly successful and popular.

 

My mother wanted me to become a teacher. I'm sure mom meant well but there were two problems with that idea -

1. I had no confidence or practical experience and ability to access my own talent was limited.

2. I hate spending lots of time with other people.

 

 

Although mom tried to push me into a seemingly secure career, the idea of teaching made me want to throw up. I cannot think of anything worse than being stuck in a room full of people all day. Oh wait, I can think of something worse: being stuck in a room full of people and having the task of trying to tell them how to do something (you don't really know how to do yet) while they're either making excuses about why they can't (or won't) do the assignment or so taken with their own unrealized genius that they can't hear anything you have to say because their too busy telling you what genius' they are.

 

The only thing that could be worse is being  a student who earnestly wants to learn BUT has ended up with someone who has no confidence, very little experience or knowledge to share and no metal or desire to be talking to you.

 

I'm sure mom meant well but I am not a teacher and certainly was not at 20, 25, 30 or even 40. Teachers need to be able to command respect, lead with confidence. At 50, I have experience to share (some of it good, a lot of it bad) but I still don't have a component that all teachers need: the ability to walk in a room and take control. In fact, I walk in a room full of people and walk out again as quickly as possible - all those faces....all that scrutiny.....and everything I know flying out of my head as soon as  soon as I'm asked a single question.

 

What do they say?: those who can't do - teach. Let me add: those who can't teach because they don't posses confidence in a crowd, can't command respect and panic when pressed..... flee.

 

I think mom wanted a Mr. Holland for a child but she ended up with a Barney Fife minus all the Barney swagger.

 

 

 

I suppose teaching is a lot like being a single parent - it's scary, it's daunting and you never really know what to do till you know what to do and you're always afraid you're going to fail. So, instead of risking my pride and the little confidence I've managed to accumulate over the last few years and pouring it all on a classroom of students, I take the few things I've figured out, mix in the experiences I've had as a working artist and make my little Youtube videos.

 

Not quite the grand career mom had in mind but I like it.... a little of what mom wanted but in a way I can handle:

 

P.S. In the end, I still can't command a room but I have a little more confidence and a handful of experience to share. Still working on the popular part .