Entry 95: We are not bemused.

We are coming to the summer solstice and, although things aren't moving at the speed I prefer, things are moving along. I have a place to live, an area in a shared studio space to paint and we have food in the house. That's ten steps ahead of where I was 4 to 6 months ago. I'm also painting. No matter how bad things get, for the most part, as long as I can paint...I'm okay. Or okay-ish.

Currently, I'm working on two portraits - one is "Melanie" and the other is "Vudu Sister".  "Melanie" is a painting of Melanie Moore, a Providence based model,. Right now, her portrait is nothing more than a few lines scribbled in aerosol.  However, the portrait of "Vudu Sister" is beginning to enter it's final stages. I'm particularly proud of the progress of Vudu Sister because my time is extremely tight - I can only make the trip out to the studio once or twice a week right now BUT I'm  able to get in, get to work and consistently produce work that leaves me proud and satisfied. Under the circumstances of the last 6 months, I consider that a triumph.

P.S. Waiting for the construction crew to start building out on live/work spaces at my mill- once my space is done, I'll be able to paint whenever I chose without having to make a long, arduous bus trip out. I just cannot wait!!!!!

Stick figure outlines (aerosol) of "Melanie"

And Vudu Sister portrait thru a few of it's stages...so far:
 

Outlines for the figures in "Vudu Sister"

 

The start of Diane O'Connor and Keith McCurdy
from Vudu Sister.

 

Although I'm pleased with the male figure, Keith McCurdy, I am not happy with my rendition of the female figure, Diane O'Connor.... not at all. I tried to justify leaving her disjointed figure and the predictable skin colors on her arms as is but my placement and treatment of her was throwing the whole painting into a state of averageness - making the entire canvas a waste of time and product. No matter what I tried to tell myself, she really needed to be reworked. So one night this week, I diligently made the trip back, wiped her down and brought out a figure and face I am happy with.

To find out more visit: http://youtu.be/Z7yebWO6orE

MUCH better....much.

 

Oh,  the block/rectangular shape at the center is a line drawing of the Courtesy Diner.
A place Keith calls his "home".  See detail below:

 

 

The end result of the last painting session - Diane's figure is looking more settled and slightly less disjointed but just abstract enough to keep the viewers eye in motion....
I think.

 

 



Detail....always with the abstracty details.

To learn more out about Vudu Sister,
including upcoming show dates, go to :

https://www.facebook.com/vudusister
 

 

To hear songs from Vudu Sister's latest album "Household items"
visit:
 http://vudusister.bandcamp.com/album/household-items

Entry 94: Transition is as transition does or feeling trapped in Combat-istan

Right now, I'm sitting at my computer, watching a bat trapped under my one gallon Tupperware beverage container and trying to figure out how I'm going to muster up the courage to carry Mr. Bat outside without either one of us getting hurt. I'm sure Mr. Bat is thinking "wtf? I was flying around, eat bugs and now I'm trapped. What'd I miss? What happened?".

Poor Mr. Bat - confused and stuck.

I'm feeling a batty kinship towards my new little friend/captive trapped underneath the Tupperware. We're both frozen in a kind of limbo, shell shocked and disoriented from the different strains we've both been under. Although he's in limbo waiting for me to release him from his Tupperware enclosure and I'm in limbo waiting (or hoping) and waiting and waiting and waiting for life to point me in a direction that doesn't feel like a trap  - in my mind, we're both holding on and hoping for the best possible outcome...together. In our kinship, we both simply need  to keep breathing and doing our best to not give up on ourselves even though things look to be a baby step above blech.

For Mr. Bat, that means taking a nap. For me, that means continuing to paint, post and blog till I'm able to make the next step toward my goals. 

New painting underway

Hopefully, Mr. Bat and I will remember how to fly when this is all over.

Entry 93: Mother's Day 2013 or I'm sure mom meant well

So, when I was kid I wanted to be and artist, highly successful and popular.

 

My mother wanted me to become a teacher. I'm sure mom meant well but there were two problems with that idea -

1. I had no confidence or practical experience and ability to access my own talent was limited.

2. I hate spending lots of time with other people.

 

 

Although mom tried to push me into a seemingly secure career, the idea of teaching made me want to throw up. I cannot think of anything worse than being stuck in a room full of people all day. Oh wait, I can think of something worse: being stuck in a room full of people and having the task of trying to tell them how to do something (you don't really know how to do yet) while they're either making excuses about why they can't (or won't) do the assignment or so taken with their own unrealized genius that they can't hear anything you have to say because their too busy telling you what genius' they are.

 

The only thing that could be worse is being  a student who earnestly wants to learn BUT has ended up with someone who has no confidence, very little experience or knowledge to share and no metal or desire to be talking to you.

 

I'm sure mom meant well but I am not a teacher and certainly was not at 20, 25, 30 or even 40. Teachers need to be able to command respect, lead with confidence. At 50, I have experience to share (some of it good, a lot of it bad) but I still don't have a component that all teachers need: the ability to walk in a room and take control. In fact, I walk in a room full of people and walk out again as quickly as possible - all those faces....all that scrutiny.....and everything I know flying out of my head as soon as  soon as I'm asked a single question.

 

What do they say?: those who can't do - teach. Let me add: those who can't teach because they don't posses confidence in a crowd, can't command respect and panic when pressed..... flee.

 

I think mom wanted a Mr. Holland for a child but she ended up with a Barney Fife minus all the Barney swagger.

 

 

 

I suppose teaching is a lot like being a single parent - it's scary, it's daunting and you never really know what to do till you know what to do and you're always afraid you're going to fail. So, instead of risking my pride and the little confidence I've managed to accumulate over the last few years and pouring it all on a classroom of students, I take the few things I've figured out, mix in the experiences I've had as a working artist and make my little Youtube videos.

 

Not quite the grand career mom had in mind but I like it.... a little of what mom wanted but in a way I can handle:

 

P.S. In the end, I still can't command a room but I have a little more confidence and a handful of experience to share. Still working on the popular part .

Entry 92: Google blogger is a wonky mess this week

Sometimes, once in a while, things go swimmingly. Things run like a well oiled machine and I'm allowed to just get things done without running into problems. Haven't had a lot of days like that the past few months and this certainly isn't one of those days....again.

 

Even though I'm not able to get the studio and work as much as I was I still like to post pics and write a bit about the work. However, Blogger, Picassa and Google + (all one entity) haven't been working properly the past few days so I've been putting off blogging my work till the glitches are fixed but that doesn't appear to be happening any day soon. For some reason, I'm not able to post whole photos, reposition photos on the a page or edit without things going wonky. 

 

You know, if this were the worst thing that'd happened to me over the last few months (year,,,,,50 years) I might be upset but, believe me, things can be much worse than Blogger images not work correctly....much worse.

 

So, with a shrug of my shoulder and a big "eh, whateveh" -

 

Part of the painting as allowed by Google Blogger right now.





1/2 her face...

1/2 her face upside down...

 

A corner of the painting and painting table...

Add caption

1/2 a detail of her torso and robe...





Just  a bad hair week for Google, Paul and me.....

 

 

AND THEN
A TIM GUNN EPIPHANY!
I know how to make this work!
upload pic to Picassa, turn upside down or side ways,
crop out black areas, rotate back, save and WHALLAH! 

Not defeated yet Google -
 not even by your Googley glitches!!!

 

Yes!  

 

 

 Yes!

 



YES!!!

Okay, you almost got me Google but not quite. Not yet anyway.

 

Sing it Paul:

 

 

Entry 91: There's math, then there's Beck math

In math 1 + 1 always equals 2. But in Beck math the same numbers equation can yield a number of results....which is what happened this morning (see blog Entry 80). I added up my Youtube views and my blog views an came up with 10,000 total views - I was a little off....about 900 off. Don't ask me how it happened but well, let's face it, that's why I don't have a job where numbers are overwhelming vital to things going well.  My miscalculation means we'll have to do the Giamatti happy dance another day.

 Till we actually reach 10,000,

I think I'm gonna practice adding.....what a maroon.

 

Entry 90: Happy math

Youtube views + blog views  =

GOAL REACHED

x flabbegasted! =

WHOOHOO! 

 

10,000 combined views ain't exactly Gangnam 

but that many views means the world to me especially considering my Youtube channel and blog were started under 5 months ago. Thanks for all the help, likes, shares and interest. And thanks especially to the 1,250 people who have joined my different online outlets.

 

What's my secret?

Sheer determination born out of overwhelming fear

(......mixed with no small amount of desperation).

If you're a little intimidated and wondering how to get yourself (or even why to get yourself) started online, here's two videos that cover my why's and hows.  If you've got any suggestions please feel free to comment or message me. I'm always open to new ideas.

 

Dude, really - if I can do it you can three...

 

 

Studio 120 - #14: DIY promotion, determination and stats

 

 

 

Studio 120 - #46: If I can do promotion, you can three  

 

- PLEASE FEEL FREE -

 to copy, share, post, repost, and comment on the work and blog entries.

AND 

don't forget to add your artist or creative site(s) to the comment section of the blog!

 



(Caught on camera celebrating...so emabarrassing)



For more info on anything you read, hear or see

please message me.

 

Entry 89: It pays to be a social butterfly

Although I do live in my own little universe (....okay, my head), I have been working on the social end of social media the last month or so. I've put a stop to promoting my work in an aggressively obnoxious, overt fashion and have been spending my time chatting with other people and fellow artists. I been/ we've been linking, interlink, friending, subscribing, posting and sharing with other artists on different media sites which has resulted in a major influx of traffic and people joining all of MY social sites in return. The flourishing results have been amazing and not what I expected-

 

Last count I had somewhere around 1,250 ppl following my adventures and babbling chats and tantrums thru Facebook, Youtube, the blog, Twitter, Tumrblr, Pinterest, Google + etc. Between Youtube and the blog I have almost 9,000 views as well as a number of new friends. That's pretty F-ing  incredible. Can't tell you how much better this is than sitting in my space, all alone staring at the wall.....

 

Thank you to everyone who's written, emailed, commented and shared. I am deeply flattered by your level of interest in my work. Thank you.

 

Bugsy says "thank you" too
'cause
"when dah momma happy, everybody happy-er"

That said a friend sent me a link to another blog that posted a Studio 120 video!
From:
"Thoughts of creativity: Home is where the paint is"

by artist Tierza Nolan

http://thoughts.indie-art.com/2013/04/28/and-dont-let-the-bastards-grind-you-down/
Thanks Tierza!

"I'm gonna chill - you interact with mommy online...
I need a nap, she's totally worn me out."

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/La102438
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/becklane42/
Tumblr: http://becklane.tumblr.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/BeckLane1
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/BeckatReBar?ref=stream